Pregnancy Week 39 diary- Why are you still at work?

9 April 2019

Yes! Week 39, still working full-time and kind of over answering people why I'm still at work. All I do is smile and tell them because I feel fine. Like I seriously do! Yes, there's monetary aspect to it (only 22 weeks maternity leave) but I wouldn't do it if I didn't have the energy for it. I'm still not using work lift and still doing the 2 floors of stairs to my office. I can still work for hours standing in lab. I don't feel tired. I'm eating fine. My appetite is good. I don't see any signs of labor onset. I feel like blueberry has moved a little down but not much so. I don't cross my legs anymore coz it feels like I might be squishing baby's head :p

I plan on working full 40 weeks. I have a feeling I will. It's my gut feeling that blueberry will spend full 40 weeks inside me. My manager, team leader and colleagues are more psyched about it than I am. They try to rub their anxiety on me but it doesn't work. I'm the calmest I've ever been. I have headphones on at work and I keep listening to the positive affirmations from the HypnoBirthing book. "Baby will come when baby is ready" "My baby will come vaginally and my body will open up naturally" "I trust my body to know how to birth my child" "I positively accept my labour and birth" "My baby is perfectly positioned" "My baby will be born healthy" "My baby's birth is easy because I am so relaxed" "Each contraction is bringing my baby closer to me" "My body is free of tension or fear" "My body knows how to birth my baby".

I feel my calmness is actually freaking out people. All the 'what-ifs' on their mind and my answer is always 'it'll be fine'. Don't you worry my waters will not break while working in a forensic lab. Don't worry you guys won't have to deep clean the lab.

Baby movements are still as normal. Midwife says the head is in down position so that's good. I actually have more energy and my body feels way better because now there's no rib pain. Since the baby has given me some space, I can breathe. I actually have same energy as before pregnancy and the will that is 10x more because I can't leave anything to tomorrow. Everything needs to be done today and now. So fridge & freezer stock up is in full progress, groceries have been bought in advance, makeup brushes are washed, assignments are on track, baby clothes are all washed, baby milestone cards are being painted, breathing & relaxation are being practiced! Now if only I can go through at least one relaxation session without dozing off. Me and Sunny are walking into the unknown while everyone scares us how we won't be be able to manage without any outside help and extra hands. Choice! The beauty of choice. When you don't have a choice, you suck it up, be strong and learn not to leave any job for someone else. I am frantically trying to finish any job I can think of, even taking care of filling up gas bottle for cooking and car servicing in advance. I think we've done one hell of a job. Working every evening after work on the odd jobs that need to be ticked off! And for that I'd pat my back and Sunny's, coz there's no one else around to applaud us and cheer us on. There's more voices scaring us then soldiering us on to move forward and trust that things will go fine. Hope. We live on Hope. and even if things go down the hill and our preps are inadequate, life will still go on and a new day will come. Blueberry will get the love and we'll hope next day will be better....

Not long to go! and I don't plan to stop working. Bring on Week 40! Let's smash some stereotypes
and lets trust our bodies. Let's stop being the fragile lil things we are made to be. Pregnancy is bliss!

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