Breastfeeding during Pregnancy... Ouch! (10 Weeks Pregnant- Dec 2020)

24 November 2021


Written:11 Dec 2020 (10 weeks pregnant)

Our breastfeeding days are numbered now. I just know. I can feel the time coming. I had heard of milk supply drying up during pregnancy; I just didn’t expect it to be this dramatic. Aiza knows it too. She doesn’t know that I’m pregnant but she knows mummy’s milk supply is going down by the hour. She has started accepting a few spoons of cow milk too. I really feel for her but I have no control over this.

Breastfeeding during pregnancy isn’t easy either. These last few weeks my entire body and in particular the b**bs have been so sore. It’s like feeding during newborn days. So painful! I persisted through this pain for weeks and now at the end of Week10, it’s finally subsiding. My milk supply is about 20% of what it was 10 weeks ago. Just a few mls for Aiza’s nap time in the afternoon take me so long to collect. A 35-40 minute (painful!) slog to get a couple of mls out while peak morning traffic is building up on the roads and I need to leave home for work fast. Oh, the rush and anxiety each morning! FYI I use a Haaka manual pump to get some milk out for Aiza’s afternoon nap with grandma as I work full-time. The mother-in-law doesn’t know I’m pregnant but has been noticing this decline in supply too. She mentioned it to me once and I hurriedly asked her to supplement with some cow milk, which she does now. I think she feels I work too hard and my supply is going down naturally. I’m not the one to elaborate any further.

To be honest I’d be surprised if we are still breastfeeding by New Year. The days are numbered. It’s sad. But for me, it’s a short break before it all begins again. Breaks are nice. It’s been 2 years and 3 months of my body being constantly needed. Aiza really loved breastfeeding and would spring on me as soon as I parked the car in the garage after work. She fed in the car that very instant. I couldn’t go out without her anywhere. Being someone’s food isn’t easy! It’s a very demanding job, on top of other jobs. So I’m actually looking forward to a little break. 2 years and 3 months I’ve done this job with utmost dedication, day and night.

Another drawback of Breastfeeding during Pregnancy is this constant hunger. By Week 8, it got so intense, I decided to take 2 lunches to work. I was constantly searching for/craving food at work. 2 lunches have been working. This growing bubba and making milk on the go is a calorie drain for sure. These days I often wake up in the middle of the night starving and sometimes dream of food too. It was Pumpkin curry in my dreams last night. Oh, I must make it soon! So basically I’m eating 2 extra meals than my normal routine. If I don’t honor these hunger pangs, I feel sick, drained, and queasy. It’s just so much better to feel full and not giddy. I’d eat to that!  

I’ve managed to hide the pregnancy from the world so far, but I doubt I will be able to do it much longer. They say the second time around your body knows the drill and grows out fast. I plan to let my workplace know after the upcoming Christmas break. In a perfect world, I’d not tell a soul and go hermit during pregnancy, but I have bills to pay. Due to my stubbornness to not buy any new clothes during pregnancy, it will be impossible to hide this fast-growing tummy at work with my limited work wardrobe choices.

It feels like time is rushing fast. I’m 10 weeks pregnant already! The first thing I did when that lone expired pregnancy strip came out to be a very conclusive positive was make a to-list of things to do before the baby comes in July. The list has been growing by the minute. So much on my plate. July can wait. Honestly, I don’t actually feel like I’m carrying a life inside me right now.

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